Lose to Gain? How does that work?

So Lose to Gain? where's the sense in that? Well I really really love food, I particularly love Italian, Mexican and Chocolate Food, none of which are really good, especially in mass quantities for someone that is borderline diabetic and over weight. I realized that I really needed to get in control, loose weight and make better food choices. The problem with that is even the word DIET makes me want to rush for the chocolate chips. After fighting this battle for many years I know that saying I can't have this or that is totally self defeating. I'm one of those people that if you tell me I can't I'll rush right in and prove I can. 

I'm a mental eater. When I'm stressed I eat, I had suspected this for years but it was proven beyond a doubt several years ago when my Mother-in-law was in the hospital. She had been fighting cancer for quite awhile and was hospitalized after suddenly not being able to walk and collapsing. We were in her room, with her dinner tray setting on the table next to me when the Dr came in and told us the cancer had spread to the lining of her brain and she only had a few days left to live. As he walked out I looked down and noticed chocolate crumbs down my front and on my fingers. I looked over at her dinner tray and realized the huge piece of chocolate cake that had been sitting there was gone. I had picked it up and eaten the whole thing without even realizing I'd picked it up. 

For a long time I thought well, when I'm less stressed I'll try to do something about my weight but the truth is my life is stressed. I have a nineteen year old with learning issues, a husband that is quite wonderful about taking his meds to keep it under control but is in fact Bi-Polar, I have a father-in-law in very poor health that depends on me a lot, and aging parents of my own. Quite honestly my stress levels aren't likely to be going down anytime soon. 

So I made up my mind come the first of the year, I was going to get serious about making better eating choices, I have to get my sugar levels down where they belong. I asked God to help me with this, to please show me how to make it work this time, and get it together. God is so so good. Almost by the time I'd even began to think this, a friend put a posting on Facebook saying she was starting a Women's encouragement/accountability group for any of us that needed to make a change and start on the road to better eating and better health. She said we'd be using a book called "Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food" by Lysa TerKeurst. We starting meeting at 6:00 AM one day a week a few blocks from my office. I don't have to be in until 8:30 so no excuse there, this was definitely something I could do. I started reading the book, very interesting. It really grabbed my attention when the author noted that she had never in her life craved carrot sticks, well need I tell you neither have I so I thought - maybe this could work. 

The next thing that happened was God led me to start a list of all the things I would gain by loosing weight. It started out pretty simple a few of the things I listed were; better health, lower my sugar counts, more stamina, kinda normal pie in the sky big picture stuff, can't say it was really motivating to me. Then I started thinking gee it sure would be nice for my boobs to stick out farther than my belly again. Sure would like to be able to cross my legs comfortably again, gosh it would be nice to actually fit in the chairs at restaurants, concerts etc, suddenly I was motivated, these were concrete can see them right away kinds of goals to work towards. At this point, not a day has gone by that I haven't thought of something else I'd gain by losing the weight. Most days I think of several things to add to the list and that's how I came up with the name of this blog. Lose to Gain that's what I'm about in 2013.